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isn't anybody interested in money anymore...? [Nov. 1st, 2006|07:39 pm]


[Todays Mood |awake]

...I just joined, and I feel like it's attitude, and conditioning, that contributes a lot to having wealth, accepting wealth, having people accept that it's fine for you to be wealthy...any thoughts on this? I think the attitude alone can make or break it, meaning that the attitude includes insight into what people want, don't want, accept, feel hostile towards, want to support, see as good or bad or cheap or worthwhile, etc. ...

[User Picture]From: nsingman
2006-11-03 01:16 am (UTC)
An excellent point. A lot of people conflate "wealthy" with "having a high income." Enough expenditures can overwhelm even the highest incomes. We become wealthy by saving - by consuming less than we produce. Except for the unusually fortunate, planning is part of it, and discipline is an even bigger part.

That said, just as going on any sort of diet forces us to examine what we eat (usually resulting in some improvements), any sort of analysis of our income and expenditures can help us think about what we're spending, and why, and perhaps get some control. For us, it was making sure that our savings (for the kids' college expenses and our retirement, in particular) were the first checks we wrote! :-)
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[User Picture]From: elleabea
2006-11-03 02:06 am (UTC)
I would like to know from you all how you have managed to make it work as a couple. Me and my boyfriend are talking about getting married but the way we're going now I'm not convinced that we're going tobe able to co manage our finances.
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[User Picture]From: nsingman
2006-11-03 03:00 am (UTC)
The most important thing is that you're having that discussion now. There is no real right or wrong way to do it, as long as you both agree. That applies to more than just finances, of course. Successful marriages and long term relationships require agreement on the big issues, and sometimes some "agreeing to disagree."

In our case, a division of that labor was the most appropriate method. I'm a technical professional in financial services, and my wife is a nurse (though she stopped working before our eldest turned 2). Thus, though we discuss all major purchases and all of our financial goals, I generally do most of the work regarding savings, investments and financial planning.

What's most important, I think, is that you know each other well. What are your savings versus consumption preferences? If they don't match that well, can you live with that, or is it a show stopper? Do you have similar ideas of what constitutes a comfortable lifestyle? Are your goals for the future in sync? Those are the questions that, explicitly or implicitly, need to be addressed.
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[User Picture]From: ngakmafaery
2006-11-03 09:47 pm (UTC)
...this seems like an excellent helpful answer, which covers most of the bases...and people find different solutions, like putting their amounts of shared money together on a sort of pro-rated basis, so if I make twice what the spouse does, I put twice as much towards shared bills, and then either each keep the extra, or agree on joint things to do it...I think that there has to be some freedom of money for each, some money that you simply don't have to report on every little use of, because otherwise it can feel like not enough privacy or respect for each others' maturity...and yet maybe others think that it shows trust or solidarity or something, so I guess it's really all up to each couple to see what works...
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[User Picture]From: ngakmafaery
2006-11-03 09:42 pm (UTC)
...frankly, it never worked for me to combine finances with a husband or live-in boyfriend...and yet some people do fine...
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